This is the hardest post I have ever written. It’s been almost a day since I heard the news and still I struggle with the reality and with the words.
Nearly a year and a half ago, I asked my readers for help with a GoFundMe campaign for my friend, Kay McGuigan, who was beginning a battle with cancer. The campaign was an enormous success and I thank you for your generosity.
Yesterday the friends of Kay got an update on her health and the news wasn’t good.
The fight is over and Kay is entering her final days.
It’s really hard to sum up the friendship of 19 years in just a few words. Kay is truly one of a kind. She lives life to the fullest and has the heart of a big kid. I met her when I did my very first show back in 1999 and we were friends from the start. She believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself and always supported me in my acting endeavors.
Kay was there for me when I was preparing for The Elephant Man back in 2002. She helped me rewrite and refine my audition to be the best it could possibly be. As my coach, she thrilled with me when I told her how well the read had gone. And she consoled me when I got the devastating news of my rejection.
Kay’s favorite holiday was Halloween and she and her husband, Ryan, used to throw a big party each Halloween. Through these parties I got to know Ryan quite a bit better and through him I met his brother, Matthew, and the three of us bonded over a mutual love of the Beatles and Jesus Christ Superstar. Today I’m proud to call these guys my brothers.
Back in 2005, I got to share in one of the great joys in the lives of Ryan and Kay. It was their annual Halloween party and I said I’d stop by after I was through with a performance of Hamlet. I was struck by the fact that the crowd was a bit smaller than normal when I arrived. Kay and Ryan greeted me at the door and then Kay slyly told Ryan, “Tell him,” as she tapped her ring finger and I saw a new ring adorning it.
“I think I’ve got it,” I said. “You got engaged.”
“Nope,” said Ryan, with a big grin. “We got married.”
Ryan and Matthew helped me sit down from the shock of the news. Yes, they had invited their closest friends to a surprise wedding that had taken place in their living room shortly before I arrived.
Since then, I’ve been a guest in the home of Ryan and Kay on many occasions. And we’d talk about music, life, theatre, and just the daily goings-on. She trusted me enough to housesit her beloved dogs, Moses and Charlie. We often had FB conversations about any ol’ thing under the sun.
Since her battle began, our conversations were limited to texting, but I’ll always remember that she seemed quite a bit like her old, buoyant self during our last little chat.
This world is a better place for having you in it, Kay. And I’m a better person for having known you.
And now I’d like to ask for your help once more. Kay’s husband, Ryan, and their three children need another helping hand as they transition into a new chapter. The GoFundMe campaign is still active and I would ask you to once again please make a donation at the below link.
Once again, I thank you for your time and generosity.
To Kay, farewell, my friend.